Drumboil

Hi there, been really busy over the last few days/weeks, school holidays and all.  We went to Loch Lomond today, all4 of us, it was lovely.  We decided to go as there's a new SeaLife Centre opened up and the youngest wanted to go & see the sharks.  It was good, somewhere different and the boys really enjoyed themselves.  We made a day of it and had lunch out, then took the scenic route home.

Now, looking at paint charts trying to decide what colour to paint the kitchen.  Also, measuring up for new curtains in the livingroom.  It never ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did what I said last night, I got up early and went out running with the dog.  He wasn't made for speed, he's so big & cumbersome.  He tries to keep up (and I'm NOT a fast runner) but he struggles and he''s only 2.

I didn't run for very long as running is not one of my favourite sports, I'm not good at it but I will get better.

So I'm feeling a little more energised, I've got the washing on, I've made the cuppas and now I'm off to make breakfast for the boys.

I will smile & feel happy today.

I'm feeling low today, in actual fact I've been feeling rather low for a while.  I'm not sure why, it may be the medication I'm on for my sore foot.  I have anti-inflammatories to take for 84 days.  I really don't know but its bugging me.

I'm irritable, I'm irrational, I'm not happy.   I shout at my boys for no reason, I bite their heads off, I don't laugh or smile anymore.  What the hell is wrong with me?????  I realise I have nothing to worry about (well, apart from the whole financial thing) and that there are worse people off than me but I just can't seem to shake my mood.

I'm overweight (not by much) but I'm at that uncomfortable stage where my clothes are a little on the tight side but I don't want to go out & buy bigger ones.  I've no motivation to do any exercise or anything for that matter. 

I don't like myself at the moment, I'm no fun and I'm so crabbit, its just not me.  I find myself not listening to the boys when they are talking to me or my hubby, I drift off and think of nothing.

Yeah, and my hair needs cut & dyed.  I've also just sat & ate loads of those jelly sweets you get and now I feel sick.

I'm going to bed, maybe I'll feel bettter in the morning.  Actually, I'm going to give myself a good talking to and I WILL feel better in the morning.  I'm going to set my alarm early and go out running with the dog, rain, hail or shine.  My poor family has been through enough of my moods for the past 2 weeks & I'm not going to put them through anymore.  I'll bin the medication & see if that makes a difference.  Rather have a sore foot than this awful mood thing.

See you tomorrow.  TTFN.

I had the day out with my mum today.  She's on holiday for the week and we decided we would go out sight seeing for the day.  Hubby offered to look after the boys.  We trotted off to visit a Georgian House open to the public, I had always fancied seeing it so it would give me inspiration for our property.  Boy was I disappointed.  Mum & I expected lots of rooms set up in the Georgian manner with decor & furniture to match, oh no, only 2 rooms in the whole place were set up like that, the rest was history of the house & the surrounding area.  I'm sure it was very interesting but its not what I wanted.

We stopped for coffee and then headed off to an expensive furniture store come gift shop come cafe place.  We had a great time!!  Didn't buy any expensive furntiure, although, I saw plenty which would have enhanced the decor in my house but unfortunately the cheque book (nor credit card) would not stretch that far.

One of the best things about the day was my mum and I just had a lovely day chatting, relaxing & dreaming.  It was so nice to spend some quality time with her without my boys running around & screaming.  She's been through a lot lately but she always manages to put a brave face on it and smile, except, that's not the case.  She spoke to me today about how she sometimes has "black" days when she doesn't want to smile to the world.  Hopefully things will get better & each day will cause less pain.  So on that note, I'm taking her out again tomorrow but with the boys this time.  She laughs at me when I'm roaring at the boys to stop shouting or stop touching that or get out from under that display.  She says I'm only getting what I deserve, she said the same things to my sister & I.

Invited a few girls round for a few drinks & nibbles. 

Went very well, I think.  The best of it was Purpledragon came down to see us.

Purpledragon, another friend & I go way back, we all lived in the same place until Purpledragon moved away.  Our children are all the same age (roughly) and would have been at the same school.  The 3 of us got on like a house of fire & still do.  It was so nice to catch up again & have those daft conversations I so miss.

So anyway, lots of alcohol comsumed, lots of chocolates eaten and not a sore head between us.  We've made a pact to meet up again in the summer hols so the children can play together and we can just relax, have crazy conversations & shout at the children for arguing with each other.

I'm checking my diary now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its the school hols, the boys have just come in from playing outside with water.  They are soaked but they did listen to me & stripped off before coming into the house.  That's kept them busy for an hour or so, what now????

Its only week one & I'm struggling to keep them entertained.  I'm a firm believer that they need to entertain themselves once in a while but they are driving me crazy already.  I have another 5wks of this.  I love having them at home but boy, are they trying my patience.

Right, I have to go.  Older boy is dressed, he must think its winter & younger one is running about in the nude.  He really is comfortable with his body.

I have a friend who met an old boyfriend of mine in the pub where she lives.  Apparently, he has turned out lovely & kept asking after me.  This wasn't a serious boyfriend, I think I was 15 or 16 and we really just hung out together.  The thing is, I kept diaries when I was younger & I've kept the most memorable ones.  So I dug out the diaries last night & had a read through some of them.  What a giggle!!!!  I was horrible to this guy, one minute I was "going out with him", the next I was "chucking him", no wonder he was so moody with me.  As I read through them, I also seemed to be trying to go out with someone else whilst I was going out with this guy.  What a tart!!!!! 

I'm so glad I wrote those diaries, there is so many things I had forgotten & so many of the things have made me laugh again.  My friend, who met this guy, is my old school friend.  I've known her since I was 5 and we've grown up together, we've been through thick & thin and there isn't anything she doesn't know about me & vice versa.  I think it is so nice we can share these memories together & laugh and cry at the same things. 

Thank god for my diaries, although I have to say, I hope my boys never read them.  My language was terrible & I don't want them to know what I got up to when I was 15, 16, 17 yrs old.  Although, I did seem to study quite a lot, according to my diaries.

Right, I'm off to deliver my customers orders in the pouring rain & with the threat of thunder.  I hate thunder, no actually, I'm petrified of thunder.  As a child I used to hide in the cupboard under the stairs because there was no windows.  I haven't got that sanctury now, every bloody room in this house has a window. 

Right I'm going.

My youngest had his Graduation party at nursery today.  They go along to the gym hall and have a party, then later on the mums & dads come in and watch then being presented with their folders and a little gift for starting school.

Yet another proud moment.  I had a tear in my eye when youngest went up to collect his folder.  They all looked so small & so young to be starting school but here we are.  BUT, guess what happened.........................just as the youngest went up, I was poised and ready to take the photo........................yes, the bl**dy battery ran out .  No photos.  Just as well other people were there and took photos for me.

So its count down until they break up from school, 1 1/2 days to go.  Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!